2014-04-06 Very long, possibly triggering update

Ahhh….I hope you’re comfy.  This was the hardest post to write. And it’s long and rambling.

I’ve got a sore throat and messages to speak my truth.  Feel free to disregard this if it doesn’t speak to you. It’s all contrast and resonance for you to use anyway. You’ll find what speaks to you and some of you may never speak to me again after this.  I hope not but I love you either way. (If your timeline has Jesus coming to Earth for a second coming, please stop now. You will not like this post.)

But I have to speak about where I am to integrate, to move through this. Otherwise, I repeat the same thing over and over. And it’s loud and clear. Something has been bugging me and this sore throat is getting worse.

What’s bugging me?

Damn, I do NOT want to share this and I really don’t want to push your buttons.  Ugh.

I have a friend of mine who likens himself to a “bubble-popper.”  I understand what he means but it’s not me. You hear what you need to in order to move through it, to recognize a part of yourself. But I’ve had enough pain in this life. I don’t want to do that to anyone. I’d rather you find it on your own and have the Universe send it to you. I’m the world’s most reticent, reluctant messenger.  I want to show you how I go through life while experiencing pain.

And that pain does not define us.

It reveals us.

To ourselves.

So, I show you me.

Because I live in this world, just like you.

I want to keep this on topic so I’ll cut to it. Because quite honestly, I’ve got a lot to get out but I have to start somewhere.

I had a channeled session Tuesday night with a woman who channels all sorts of entities – angels, gods, goddesses, ascended masters and once in a while a collective sneaks in but they can’t ever stay for long in that way. She steps aside and they speak and move her body for her. It’s stunning and humbling and she is a beautiful spirit who does a lot of self work in order to be a clear channel and not filter too much.

So, I usually read for myself and follow the signs as I can. If I’m too caught up in my own attachments, I have some close friends that Spirit sent me who I ask for validation because otherwise you start to think you are going crazy.  (Blog on spiritual self-care coming soon as I catch my breath here.) And I don’t want to be out of touch with 3D. I want to live in the world.

I’d been getting signs to go see this woman for several weeks. I first met her when she came to the Psychic Development I class I took last fall and saw her channel Archangel Michael. Holy crap!  I don’t see auras but those in the class who do couldn’t stop talking about how amazingly her aura practically disappeared and then was filled with AA Michael’s. It was indescribable.

We have a few overlapping circles and Spirit just kept pointing me to her.

So…..you know what happens. Follow the signs. Make an appointment. Just show up and be yourself. It’s all we can do here.

After I contacted her, there were multiple synchronicities leading up to seeing her and I started getting signs from the numbers I see every day at work. My birthday kept appearing along with some other combinations. I was scheduled to see her the day after my birthday.

The day comes and it ended up that I was up most of the night of my birthday with….something……powerful energies that night, picking up on stuff from the prophets that Spirit shows me, restlessness. That was the night of my last blog post when I just needed to be. So I’d taken the day off from my day job and spent the day resting at home. The only thing I knew I had to do was go to the session. Everything else would wait.

I show up after a brief walk in the local neighborhood with some music and see this beautiful soul and we talk a bit. I truly adore her!  We hit it off wonderfully and she is so devoted to opening to her own heart and looking at her own process.  We laughed and talked about some of the same people in my area that we know, especially twins whom I love – one is a crystal healer and Tarot reader and one is a Reiki II and channel.

She asks why I came and I tell her that I followed the signs and I’m here for whatever I need to hear from whomever is trying to get my attention.

So, there was a lot that came out and it cleared up some of the messages I’d been getting. But I need to tell you about the beginning because that is what’s bugging me.

She first asked to be shown what she needed to know to tap my energy.

She saw me in a long hooded robe overlooking a cliff with a staff and a large animal with me. (I forget the animal. I’ll check back when I get the recording.) She said that living here is like Alice falling into Wonderland for me. She said that I can see how it works and for me everything is backwards here. That I’m used to being part of a group, of a council and now I’m alone here in Wonderland.

So, this made sense to me because I do feel this way a lot and it matches much of what I do know about my Higher Self.  But what do you do? I’m not going to stand around and tell anyone what to do. I don’t know what you’re here to do and I sure as heck am not going to tell you I do. I don’t even know what I’m here to do. I just get glimpses.  All I know is that you will find it within.  And I love you.

Ugh….we are getting to the part that I don’t want to tell you….

Shit.

Can you just read my mind? Because I’ve got all kinds of crazy shenpa around this.

Yuck.  Gotta go through it if I want to release it……

Ok.

 

So, she stops channeling and starts talking to me.

“You know, your coming to me is like Jesus asking for healing.”

I looked at my hands.

WTF, do you say to that?

I didn’t know what to do with that. It was just her statement and I had serious shenpa. My reaction was all my mirror.

“I try to follow the signs. I’m very grateful for your gift and I appreciate that you share it. I have a lot to learn.”

I didn’t know what else to say.

It went on from there. We talked a bit about ascension and I told her that I can see timelines and how to create new ones.  I’d been dying to tell someone else and she was really on my wavelength and wanted to know more so I asked her to ask her guides if I could tell her about convergence. She told me what she saw – they discussed it for a while in a group. I think we waited almost five minutes for an answer. LOL!  Finally they told her she is a spiritual teacher and needs to know about this and they allowed me to share it with her. She got it. Yay!  It was so great to be able to tell someone about it and pull some ascension pieces together. It’s tough just sitting on it all the time for me.

I wanted to hug her forever.

And we went back to the channeling.

And I’m so grateful for so many pieces that were helpful to me and being pointed in some new directions. Evidently, one of my main spirit guides is Horus.  (Yeah, I have no idea who he is. LOL! Slowly, finding out.)

But days have passed and my sore throat is still here and everyone I see is wearing blue. Everyone!!!  I did not get that memo, clue me in next time, ok guys? 

Clearing that throat chakra…..ok…..

Deep breath.

So, that comment about Jesus coming for healing is bugging me.

For a couple reasons, first I am not Jesus. I am just Sarah.  Doing the best I can and practicing being love in the world.  But I adore Jesus!  Don’t get me wrong and I’m finding there’s more to his story than we originally thought. And I’m going to hug the crap out of him next time I see him.

Second, I don’t like the separation as one person above or below another. Do I know stuff about how life here on Earth works that isn’t common knowledge?  Yes, I do. Not everything but I know a little and I’m learning more every day. I’m not going to lie about it. That’s a disservice to both of us. And if you ask me something, I will do my best to answer it. I’m not holding anything back. But you have to ask and it takes time to explain. It has to be done on an individual level because we are all at a different vibratory rate and what works at one rate doesn’t work at another rate. That’s why I have my spiritual awakening business.

And the best way to learn is through experience. The Universe is doing it for you right now. You don’t need me. I’m ancillary. Just here for the ride.

Finally, the timeline that I’m creating doesn’t have spiritual teachers or gurus to ascend. I don’t want to be a teacher and I don’t want a student. That’s an ego trip I don’t want. I also don’t want a teacher for everything. I want to find my own way. Find a teacher for this and a teacher for that. I want to mess up and feel pain and take one step forward and two steps back and be okay with wherever I am. Find what I need to recognize in myself.

The timeline I’m creating has each of us looking at ourselves, recognizing our pain, going through it, learning to love ourselves no matter what. No guilt. No shame. Embracing our Divinity and recognizing it in others because we are all One and this is our playground. Supporting each other and sharing our paths no matter how different they are. Meeting people where they are, no need for them to change.

So, this diverges into talking about timelines at this point because it’s part of why this is bugging me. (Sorry, I told you it was going to be long and rambling. Gotta get this out though. If you’re still here, thank you.)

The timeline I’ve created is going to take awhile. We have time. Don’t sweat it.  I’ll tell you a little about it.

Hmm….changed my mind there. It will take me awhile to explain that and this is about clearing the throat chakra for me. So, I’ll tell you that on my timeline we manifest superpowers. Think video games, the Matrix, all the cool childrens’ books you can think of.  And the reason is not because I want power. I have avoided seeking power and turned it over at every opportunity.  I don’t want power. I just want to be love. That’s all I feel.

I don’t want anything other than to be love in the world. Support people where they are and follow my own path.

And I’m finding that the more I focus on love and on healing myself, that magic happens. Biological diseases that I’ve had to take routine medication for are now gone. Whatever their root problem was no longer exists.

This week at my day job I found that a few times I could make my computer do something without ever having to touch it. I just knew that I could do it and I had to stifle my laughter when it did it before I touched the keyboard.

If we can imagine it, we can do it. And I believe that with all my heart. We are walking miracles.

So, I created this timeline where there is no great battle. Where there is no savior and we are the ground crew and we save ourselves. Because I don’t want a savior. I want to know what I can do and I want you to show me what you can do and teach me how to do it too if I want.

Because the prophecies out there used to speak to me. But I refuse to harm anyone so I’m making a new one up. I don’t want to kill those who wish me harm. I love them because I know pain and I’ve been there. I’ve hurt people out of my own suffering. They’ve only forgotten who they are and want peace themselves. They mistakenly think harming someone else will benefit them.

And it just creates more pain.

That is not love.

And matter is just an illusion. These bodies and the chair I’m sitting in exist because we think they do. We can change everything by changing ourselves first. Within ourselves we contain the Universe. It’s who we are.

So, I’m finding that Love IS the power. The more I love everything I see. What resonates with me, what evokes shenpa in me. Things I want, things I don’t want. They all point to me, to us, to who we are.

Love IS all there is and Love is creation.

And creation is just power manifested with intention.

So, I need to sit with this for awhile. Because the attachments I have to power have negative connotations for me. And that is my stuff. That’s my mirror and putting judgment on power.

I will sit with it for awhile. As long as it takes.

I’ll probably give up on it sooner or later depending on how long I want that attachment.

And then it may find me.

Or not. I’m good either way.

But my throat is feeling better now.

It’s just a matter of hitting that “Publish Post” button now…….

 

I love you.

Namaste.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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