2014-05-02 Update

I really need to pay attention to where I direct my attention. I’m writing on the balcony wondering why my neighbor has her TV so loud. Then I notice that I hear her screaming and they are having wonderfully athletic sex. Good for her!

Now I can smell them.

Ok, redirecting my thoughts to what I came out here for.  More information than I needed. LOL!

As I heard from a friend years ago, it is easier to wear slippers than carpet the whole world.

And this week my attention has been all over. Spent most of my days in the I AM. I’m still learning how to focus on what I am doing.

And yesterday, my daily Abraham Hicks quote:

As you diminish contrast, you diminish your ability to decide, and as you diminish your ability to decide, you diminish your ability to focus, and as you diminish your ability to focus, you do away with your reason for existing.

—Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop: Orlando, FL on February 15, 1997

This is exactly where I am. A point where you can hold multiple vibrations at once and there is no contrast. No ability to decide what I want to do.  When there is no contrast, how do you decide? 

Disclaimer: This is not a call for help and no, there is not a plan.

It’s just noticing that there is nothing to do. I do not need to exist here right now. There is nothing anyone needs from me that they cannot give to themselves. The Universe is already leading them to everything they need. The only one to live for is self. And then when you have what you thought you wanted – what next?

So, I guess I’m having existential angst.

Me? The girl who loves living?

I don’t want to be done here so I go back to a different vibration, the mind and ego. Where do they find contrast?

 

Yeah, this will NOT be a shocker.

 

Paying bills.

I hate paying bills. Haha!

I’m sure you love it, right? Can’t wait to send off your money to someone else when you’re not even sure the service was worth it in the first place?

And I do the same thing with paying bills that I do with the rest of stuff that gives my ego shenpa. Why does it bother me?  I know and trust in the abundance of the Universe.  But I don’t really like the form that the Universe sends abundance right now.  I’d rather make money doing something I enjoy rather than temp jobs but I know I can’t hack a regular 9-5 anymore. That’s why I temp. And with another full moon coming up, I don’t know how I’ll be feeling. Not too many people want to hire someone who can only work three weeks out of the month and I don’t really feel like explaining it. Plus, being in public workplaces is sometimes still overwhelming to me. I don’t want to be in that many dense energy fields. It makes too much work for me when I get home to clear all of the stuff that I picked up and I don’t know how to shield it all yet.

The part that bugs me about paying the bills is the way I know the money comes in right now. The dragon is the main support for the household and we cut back on a lot two years ago after my last corporate job. But there is a small gap that needs to be filled and he has a great well-paying job he loves with good perks. So I’m looking at what I love to do and coming up with a few ideas I’ve started working on. Mostly combining metaphysical and nerdy interests.

I’m thinking I’ll post some pics for works in progress. As with everything else, I have no clue what I’m doing so it should be interesting. And a work in progress as we all are.

Oh geez, my neighbor is still busy. Haha!  Must be Friday night.

I hope you are as ecstatic as she is.

I love you.

Namaste.

 

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9 thoughts on “2014-05-02 Update

  1. Rajiv

    I wish your neighbour well in her amorous pursuits! I hate paying bills, and being out of a corporate job, and changing your life direction is challenging… Namaste(?)

    Reply
    1. sayyestoeverything Post author

      Evidently, she is quiet and resting this morning. Busy girl!

      I’m curious what this new direction will bring. There Is a certain security to having a corporate job. Haha!

      Reply
  2. hipmonkey

    I wish I was having as much fun as your neighbors right this minute, but nooooooo. Alone again, naturally. Hey, think of others as variations of yourself. It’s way fun. A bunch of mini me’s sneaking around being all human and stuff. That’s life. 😀

    Reply
  3. phxckn

    oooh, I am on a very similar journey! I just left my last corporate (government) job, and am floundering around in all of my new unstructured free time. I’m also emerging into telepathic abilties, and it’s weird because it’s happening in my head… but then I realize, “Well of course it happens in your head, how did you THINK telepathy works?”
    Learning to See Things That Are Already There, and Allowing Things TO Be As They Are…!

    Reply
  4. kellie@writingmoment

    So many good points in this post, paying bills (no, I don’t like it, yes, I do know about the abundance of the Universe but still…), the point about “when you get what you thought you wanted”, love that, and well I definitely can’t miss the point about your neighbour…like you said – good for her! Namaste xox

    Reply
    1. sayyestoeverything Post author

      Yeah, that thing about the abundance coming…it does but I would really like to manifest differently. Haha! So, I’m looking forward to getting what I want there. Watch me say I want it to go back the other way. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take. 🙂

      Reply

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