I’m starting to think that I need a good answer for, How are you?
Really? Like what do you say? I know a lot of people just ask as a general pleasantry but I stopped saying I was fine a few years ago. And I don’t want to lie and I know people are asking as a course of conversation. If they wanted to know how you really were they would ask more questions or go into it in more detail. So, I’m considering just saying that I’m good. It’s short. It’s sweet and those people who I know well will ask if they want more.
So, what prompts this tonight? Because everybody else mastered this in childhood when our parents told us to just say fine and ask about them, right? I should know how to do this by now and just be okay with it. There are bigger things to worry about. Get over it already. This is not a pressing question for society.
I’m wondering because right now it’s where I am. A good friend of mine is going through a rough time.
I don’t have very many close friends who know about the topics that I write about here on the blog. I don’t really see any use in telling everyone unless there’s an opportunity or a topic comes up and I share about my experience with it if I’m asked. Most of my friends know a little and that’s fine for them. They don’t ask; we just do typical every day stuff and they invite me to Scentsy parties. I show up, give an envelope of money to the host with an explanation that I’m honoring their intention to manifest abundance and then tell them I’m allergic to all their products. Haha! It’s honest. No one says anything and they always take the money. Then I leave the party promptly. And that’s really what they want anyway, right? Support of their endeavor and money. I’m good with that. That’s what I want too. I can dig it.
But this particular friend knows me very well. Knows about the topics I write about on here and I ask them for advice because they’ve had similar experiences. When something really cool happens, they are the one that I text and send a picture to. When I’m not feeling so good and need somebody to talk to, they are the one that I call.
And right now they are in their own space, doing self care. I don’t know what’s going on and there’s nothing I can do. I am grateful that they told me this is where they are and I respect it. I don’t push them. It’s been over a week now and I’m really hurting. Our relationship isn’t the same. Before, we would text throughout the day and talk about all sorts of things. Now, there is daily contact but it’s mostly good morning, good night and I love you.
So, that is what has prompted this post. How do you answer the question, How are you?
When the person asking it knows you very well and honestly wants to know. But you have too many of your own expectations to manage to even come up with a cohesive thought that would honor both their limited ability to take on any more stressors with your desire to be honest when you’re a mess of emotions.
For now, I’m taking care of myself and doing a lot of writing along with spending time with family. But I’m having to come to terms with my own expectations that I put on this relationship and what I thought it was. And that is all ME. I brought all that baggage to the relationship. So, I’m going to clean it up myself and sit with it and what that says about me.
That’s all I’ve got tonight. Feeling pretty raw.
All suggestions welcomed regarding how to answer the question or any advice, quite honestly. I’m pretty lost here. Just waiting it out until it passes.