I absolutely adore madness. It breaks me through faster than anything else.
I don’t always know when it’s coming. I can’t predict it. And I always fight it in the beginning because it takes me right out of the reality that I “think” exists. That safety and security I have put in labels like Mother, Friend, Lover, Sarah, Reality. As if a word could encompass a fluid relating or make that relating sustainable. My mind just grasps. It’s all it can do, really. Poor little mind. I can’t blame the mind for doing its job. Continue reading →
Since I’ve been talking to my body, I’ve been able to notice more, especially when I run. A few weeks ago I developed ankle weakness for no apparent reason. I asked Stella if anything was wrong or needed to be attended to by a doctor and she told me no. Some days I felt it would be strong enough to go running and some days I stayed home because I felt the need to rest. I just keep an eye on it and check in on what I can get done and what would not be prudent to do. I was curious about why my ankles were weak but I try not to drive myself crazy so I let it go and take care of myself. I’ll find out eventually, usually that is much later I’ve come to find. Continue reading →