I’m sad tonight and I can’t push it away. I won’t deny it.
If I deny it, it will continue because I do not claim it. And for me, the only way out is through.
The dark night of the soul does not come just once for me, I know. There are many times I’ve felt this.
I am grateful to find peace in the knowing that it passes. And I can hold my center in the conflux of emotions.
But it does not mean that I do not feel their pain and echoes of my own.
Tonight I have to express it to move through it.
I’ve been feeling the frustration of our prophets. The ones who communicate with Source, who listen when they want to act, who share what they know from a deep desire to benefit others, who see what few can see. It has been building as they watch what happens in our world and want to end the suffering of other spirits here. They have such compassion for us and have devoted their waking and dreaming hours to assist all who will listen.
And the breaking point is coming for some. To gather together. To take action to put the pieces together to form a complete picture. The desire to know is all encompassing. We want to understand how it will happen. We grasp. We want security. A place to rest. To catch our breath.
I know that feeling well.
I work with it daily.
It is the mind. Grasping at what it cannot have.
Because we do not come to this plane to know what will happen. It is not even how we learn. Otherwise, there would only ever need to be one book written and we would all follow it.
Life would be perfect.
But we live on Earth and our road map is our intuition. Our guidance system is compromised of our feelings.
We didn’t come to do the same things or it would be simple and we would be the same. We came to experience different things and in showing those to others, we create an opportunity for others to shine in a different way.
But I still feel their frustration and their anger at being given a gift without having all the pieces. It goads them to action but action from fear. I do not share their fears because they are not mine to share with you but you know fear so you know what a powerful motivator it can be.
So I ask Spirit what do I do. The answer is nothing. Do nothing to change others. Look at yourself.
I sit on my hands.
I look at myself.
What am I afraid of?
I am afraid that I am the only one who sees this timeline and that it is mine alone. I am not afraid of my future because I can see where it leads. But I want to bring as many souls with me because it is a beautiful alternative to the warring, painful timeline that comes from a place of fear.
But the only way out is through. That is my way. Not by denying how I feel but by claiming it, looking at it, sitting with it and allowing it space until it dissolves and all that is left is my heart.
And then I view myself as I would view another. From the place of the Beholder, outside my body. Watching myself.
Doing the best job I am able with the tools I currently have and looking and listening for others from which to learn. Because I have a mind too and it cannot understand the nature of Divinity. I can only use my intuition to lead me to the next place I need to be for my spiritual evolution.
And tonight that place is writing.
Because those prophets are my mirror and their struggle is mine.
So tonight I cry.
Knowing my tears will bring me to the next experience I need for what I wish to create. And I am grateful.
I wish you peace.